Christmas in October
Posted on October 18, 2007
Filed Under Marriage |
Last Saturday I was running errands around town with the boys when I had to stop and remember the date. You see, I found myself standing in a 
forest of artificial lighted Christmas trees, assorted inflatable snowmen, and plastic reindeer on display in one of the stores. Christmas? Already?
Last time I checked we were in October.
Remember when the race to find the perfect gift used to be a sprint? You know, the Friday after Thanksgiving use to mark the day when “happy” shoppers tackled their gift-giving lists. Now, thanks to the pressure by retailers, buying gifts has become a three month marathon. Whew!
With these unexpected thoughts of candy canes and Christmas on my mind, it strikes me that one of the greatest gifts I can give my boys has nothing to do with what I’d ever find in a store . . . even if I started looking today. Why?
It seems to me that the best gift I can give them is loving their mother well. When my boys see me laughing, hugging and, yes, smooching with their mother, they receive a priceless deposit in their bank of memories. When they see romance modeled in our home, I can tell they feel secure in our love. Not to mention they’re handed a picture of marital love that will help them romance their future brides once they get married.
As you might imagine, far too often a healthy picture of romance in marriage is missing. For example, not long ago FamilyLife conducted a survey of 1,000 adults about marital romance. They asked, “Were your parents romantic? What gave you that impression?” Here’s a sample from those who didn’t think their parents were romantic:
• “I think I saw them kiss once.”
• “I saw them embrace less than ten times in their lives.”
• “My parents were divorced. I had no example set for me.”
• “My parents were not romantic at all. Now they sleep in separate bedrooms.”
• “I never observed my parents being romantic. Not even my grandparents. Unfortunately, most of my romantic notions come from movies or books.”
By contrast, here are responses from those who did see romance modeled in the home:
• “My parents would slow dance to oldies tunes on the radio in the kitchen and always snuggled together when we watched family movies.”
• “My parents would frequently dress up and go to the opera or to parties. When they’d arrive home at the end of the night, my father would always say, “Your mother was the prettiest one there.”
• “I know they were in love, like a bunch of jack rabbits. I remember one night my mom was dressed up. There was excitement in the air—she was going out for dinner and dancing! My dad came in to the room and gave mom a passionate kiss. She said, ‘David, the kids!’ He shrugged and planted another one on her.”
• “Probably the biggest thing my parents did for me was to model an ‘in love’ marriage. They were and, thirty-five years later, still are always hugging, kissing, and going for long walks or dates.”
Personally speaking, I don’t have many memories of my parents romancing each other; they divorced when I was six. As a result, I never experienced the security that comes from two parents who love each other for a lifetime—which is one legacy I intend to change for our boys.
If you, like me, desire to keep the passion alive in your marriage—and give the gift of romance to your kids, here are several fantastic resources to consider: FamilyLife’s Dennis and Barbara Rainey’s book Rekindling the Romance, Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus’s Intimate Issues, Simply Romantic Nights, Red Hot Monogamy by Bill and Pam Farrel, and a copy of our two-day broadcast, Fueling the Passion in Your Marriage.
Merry Christmas! (Did I just say that?)
Comments
One Response to “Christmas in October”
Leave a Reply
Comments are moderated and will not appear on jimdalyblog.com until they've been approved. While we are eager to facilitate conversation by publishing most comments, we may withhold one from time to time if we deem it offensive, vulgar, overly personal, cynical, disrespectful, irrelevant, redundant or unnecessarily contentious. While we encourage you not to make others' misspellings and grammatical mistakes an issue of debate, please do your best to double-check your spelling, use correct capitalization, and use proper grammar.
Jim Daly is the President of Focus on the Family. He has been married to his wife, Jean, since 1986. They have two sons. The Daly family resides in Colorado Springs. Finding Home represents Jim's musings on work, family and faith.
-
Recently Written
-
Categories
-
Monthly Archives
-
Blogroll
-
Subscribe
Subscribe in a reader
© 2007 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved.
Romance isn’t only good for our children, it’s good for us. There are times–when finances are thin, when the days are long, when stress is high–that my wife and I look at each other and smile. We share a memory. Sometimes they feel ancient. A marriage long of date nights and special getaways is like a storehouse of water in drought.